There are several things I love/hate about Pinterest - that is to say, which vex me but I can't really complain about. For instance, Pinterest knows what I'm looking at and enjoys herding me down channels of mini-obsession. It knows I like shoes and outfits, but it likes to suggest exotic lingerie, short tight skirts and (!!?) light bondage wear. Pinterest is trying to turn me into a little slut.
Also, when it comes to pinning I'm just a cheerful ball of compliance, enjoying everything I see so much I don't even know if I've already saved it two or three times. The more time I spend ogling girly things, the happier Pinterest is.
|It's ultimate goal: replicating my brain with pixels and creating a digital|
copy of myself, who will finally appreciate all the effort its making.
What plagues me most of all isn't really down to Pinterest itself, but the lack of harmony between my virtual closet and my personal set of existential desires, which my Pinterest boards represent. The bane of my transgender used to be department stores, where I still conceal my jealousy and yearning as I pass by shop windows full of feminine wonder; now I don't even have to leave home to experience this dysphoria!
I stepped through the barrier of female-exclusive consumerism in college, when (with the emotional support of my bestie, Angel) I bought my first outfit: a short sleeve purplish lavender body suit & button-up denim mini from thrift, and my first ever pair of black high heels (MY heels, all mine!) from Payless. It's funny now, how I think back on those choices and roll my eyes at how cheap, how tawdry these particular clothes were... I mean, today I do own a denim mini, several body suits and black heels, only they're much more tasteful. But those were first steps, the first time I'd ever worn clothes that were based on my tastes, my choices, my identity, not just borrowing from someone else's, so I value that turning point.
Currently, my wardrobe consists of a decent variety of styles for nearly every occasion, from casual to dressy. I've already mentioned how I could last a few weeks using this set of clothes without needing a wash day. For someone who doesn't leave the house, it's practical, pleasing, and reflective of my personal feminine image. I have nothing to complain about.
I reeeeaaaaallly want more clothes! I can't help it, and I probably wouldn't help it if I had the choice. I love to dress up. When I'm Kris, I don't give much thought to what I wear or what people think of me - jeans and t-shirts, that's the life for me. (And don't get me started on the masochistic lunacy of NECK TIES as a masculine fashion tradition!). Guys have a simpler fashion palette, and that's just fine. As a woman, however, I require special considerations in the clothes I wear, such as intricacy, appeal, variation, and distinct muliebrity.
|I bet they didn't put THIS word in your SATs!|
Therefore, If I ever find myself a sugar momma willing to bankroll my softer side, I have a list of wardrobe improvements* I'd like to make:
Let's start with a very basic need which supersedes attire. I'm absolutely weary of not having breasts to fill out my bra. I hate going about my business and having to push my chest back down every ten minutes or so, due to lack of fundamental weight that defines the point of even wearing a bra. Do any women have Floating Bosom Syndrome? Not according to Google, they don't. Ridiculous!
In short: I want to wear bras, so give me the means to justify them. (Synthetic, please. I'm not in the least prepared to explain to the world why I decided to spring for implants.)
If a girl's outfit could be compared to a work of architecture, then underwear is the foundation. Perhaps no one can see it, but it makes a world of difference to what we see on the outside. The right kind of underwear can inspire confidence, improve one's demeanor, or just be a feel-good part of your day.
I want a drawerful of matching bra & panty sets. I need a variety of stockings with garter belts, and a selection of patterned tights (and basic colors, too). Another drawer must be filled with lacy chemises, teddies & silky negligees. Bustiers would be a lovely addition, and since we're talking... I've always wanted to try corsets. ... And now that we're venturing into, um, dedicated preferences, I'll confess that I won't say no to the odd bit of intimate leather and metal, if such apparel does indeed exist. I'm sure I wouldn't know...
Aside: I'm not sure how to classify body suits, but they turn up in every search for "lingerie," even though you can wear them visibly as part of an ensemble. They're tight little shapers that help keep nether bits snug, support the chest, and slim contours. I have four pair myself, two solid and two striped, and they are unparalleled for bring my femme to the fore. Simply magnificent... SO, I'm just going to leave this here.
Say what you want about the liberties women enjoy to wear whatever they want, but I'll insist there is no happier expression of feminine spirit than the essential dress. It's a do-it-all kind of piece, decorating the shoulders, neck, bosom, back and waist, then cascading from the hips down with a gender-exclusive signature look that cannot be replicated. Examining the last century, decade by decade, makes me fall in love with dresses and how they've evolved, convincing me they're never going away, and thank God for that. I would wear a different dress every single day.
4) Skirts, Pants & Tops
I feel like I have to put these together, because even though tops may be worn with pants, you can't have a skirt without tops. (The censors just won't have it, I'm sorry.) Also, the combinations are infinite. Also also, you MUST coordinate - this skirt with that camisole, those slacks with that shirt, these jeans with a peasant blouse, etc. etc. That said, I love options. Female clothing offers a myriad ways to communicate mood, style and personality for any occasion. Fill my closet with such options, and I'll be downright giddy.
I've already been over shoes, but it bears repeating in such a list as mine. I will most certainly wear: High heels, sandals, flats, Mary Janes, wedges, ankle boots, knee high boots (not cowboy, thanks). I love bows, buckles, ankle straps, peep toes, platforms, sneakers, lace-ups and tie-ons. Basically, just look up my Pinterest board "Well Heeled" and make that list a reality.
There's a fashion rule, that before a lady leaves the house, she should remove one piece of jewelry. This leads me to believe that women have a tendency to over-accesorize, which may not be a problem for me. I'm seriously not sure how much of a jewelry girl I really am. I suspect having bits and bobs dangling all over my person might drive me nuts after a while, especially since I work with my hands so much that rings and bracelets might become a nuisance, even an impediment. That said, I wouldn't turn away a generous sampling of bling. Necklaces and bangles are nice, and anklets, and armlets. Maybe chokers. What I'm absolutely in love with is the earrings (which is saying a lot, for somebody with no pierced ears). Danglies, hoops, studs... I'm just saying, if you sat me down in a chair and popped two holes in the lobe & one on the outside (left & right) then I wouldn't likely complain much.**
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They say clothes make the person, which is just a cryptic way of saying "You are what you wear." Maybe that's so, but even if you don't actually wear the clothes I believe preferences count as intentions. Despite the clothes, of course, I must still use a bit of imagination and ingenuity to make the look work for me. Just as well, since I'm not generally trying to impress anybody but myself.
|Also, a girl can always dream.|
And she does, mon cher... she does!
*setting aside, for the moment, the basic need for extra space, time and interpersonal attention that having an expansive wardrobe demands. They say you can't have it all. Well... who the hell asked "them," anyway?
**I bet piercing stings, at least a little, so I probably WOULD complain.